1 package angel food cake mix
water, as required by cake mix instructions
1½ 300 mL cans of sweetened condensed milk
1/3 cup lemon juice (one big lemon's worth)
1/2-1 t. almond extract
250 mL whipping cream
1 10 oz. package of frozen sliced strawberries in syrup
2 L fresh strawberries
(Getting ready) If you're baking the angel food cake from scratch or
from a mix, preheat your oven to 350°F. Make sure the whipping cream
(Bake the cake) Make the angel food cake according to the package
instructions. This should take about an hour. Invert the cake,
either onto a bottle or onto the legs of your cake pan, if you have
a fancy-shmancy angel food cake pan with legs. Let it cool that
way completely. I usually do this the day before.
If you're in a rush and set the cake outside to cool, watch out for
raccoons, who will come out in broad daylight if they smell cake.
Set the frozen strawberries out to thaw when while the cake cools.
Don't try to effect a direct heat exchange between the two without
adequately protecting the cake from strawberry juice or the effects
of uneven cooling.
(Prepare the filling) While the cake is in the oven,
combine the condensed milk, lemon juice and almond extract in a
medium bowl and beat well. In another medium bowl, whip the
cream. Make it very, very firm, or the icing will end up runny.
It should be so firm that it retains its shape when you tip the bowl.
Do not add sugar to the cream before you beat it; the condensed
milk is very sweet on its own.
Fold the whipped cream thoroughly into the first bowl, using
the slowest setting on a hand mixer.
If it's not homogenous, the whipped cream will separate out
and the icing won't stick to the cake. Keep cool. If you did this
the day before too, then just put what you've got in a sealed
container in the fridge.
(Filling the cake) Once the cake is cool, you can cut it with a
long, sharp knife. Take an inch-thick "hub cap" off the top and
set aside. Use a fork or your fingers to scoop out a tunnel for
the filling that should be about an inch thick and an inch deep,
with one inch walls on the inside, outside and bottom, all around
the torus of the cake. Don't make the tunnel too big, or the
walls won't be strong enough to retain the filling, and at the
very least some entasis will result.
Shred the pieces as they come out, so that
they're no more than about an inch in diameter, and set them aside.
Inspect the cake tunnel thoroughly for cracks. You'll be pouring
a fairly viscous fluid in, but if you have a massive failure of
structural integrity, you'll be sorry. If you can see a crack,
tear some of the shredded pieces up into tiny bits and stuff the
crack with them. Now take about a third of the chilled filling,
at least half of the tunnel debris and all of the thawed frozen
strawberries, including the syrup, and gently fold it all together.
Spoon (or if you're feeling dextrous, just pour) the mixture into
the tunnel. Put the hub cap back on top.
Check to make sure that the remaining two-thirds of the cream mixture
(that doesn't have strawberries in it)
is cool enough that it doesn't dribble down the sides of the cake,
but warm enough that it can
be spread without shredding the cake.
Use it to frost the top and sides of the cake. Chill for about
(Final preparations) Slice large strawberries in half and place them
all around the outside of the cake. Put whole small strawberries on top
of the cake, along with birthday candles. Sing "Happy Birthday",
take pictures. Serves 12-16.